You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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