it wasn't lemon gatorade
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
