As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
