do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize