His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
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