i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize