did you get engaged???
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize