I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
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