I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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