so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
