Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
