How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
