i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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