Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
