big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
