I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
