i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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