why didn't you poke me back
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
