they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You took a bar mat shot.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
