I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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