Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
is that a dick in a sweater?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
