Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
So squirting runs in the family.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
