I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
