you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize