I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
