i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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