shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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