Those balls look pretty dangerous.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
