Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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