I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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