Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
