They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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