Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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