I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
