I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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