I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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