hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
