Dual....:-)
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
