He disabled his match.com account in front of me
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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