Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Randomize
