There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
