please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
