i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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