I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
operation harelip BJ is a go
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
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