Walk of Shame. In a state park.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
