did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
