I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
