She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
