Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
