should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
