Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
