A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
