if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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