No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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