dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize