I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
