shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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