im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
