he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Randomize
