Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize