what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize