No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
