Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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