i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
