he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
