i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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