well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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